1. A passport application for a horse. Photos included.
2. TWO (real absolutely human) EYES, encased in formaldehyde. One left, and one right. "Hey, do you think you would see things differently through another person's eyes?"
3. Rusty the postal worker, a man I worked with a few days ago. Rusty was in his mid-40s, reasonably friendly, and asked all the normal time-passing questions ("so, where do you go to school? Howdya like the job?")...until he found out that I'm a passable creative writer and suddenly launched into an hour-long discussion about "the arts". Rusty may spend 8 bleak hours a day tossing mail onto a conveyor belt, but he secretly loves French cinema, Audrey Tautou, eclectic music, the poetry of Walt Whitman, and vacations at the beach.
One of the saddest lines I've ever heard: "I was working on an oil painting, and all of a sudden I put the brush down and decided to become a postal worker." But at least he's still keeping the dream alive. Here's to you, Rust.
4. Things I learned from skimming a badly-worn copy of the book "Secret Sex Lives of Famous People":
James Joyce= underwear fetish
Ernest Hemingway= had a "minute member"
Mark Twain= both a "late virginity loser" and known to"enjoy girls aged 16 years old or younger"
John F Kennedy= liked to have sex in cupboards
Adolf Hitler= peeping tom
Friedrich Nietzsche= engaged in troilism
Emily Dickinson= "lesbian (?)"
