Friday, July 21, 2006

Wanda Chubbs

1. West Nile virus, in a convenient pocket-sized bottle. Stuff it in there next to your ID and condoms and gum.

2. A box containing some regular ol' cremated remains. No name, valued at $300. That stuff is heavy, let me tell you.

3. The Affair Package, from the woman's workplace to his: a business card soaked in her perfume, a mix cd (featuring her favourite singer, Michael Buble!), and a scandolous but mostly tame letter giving him sexy instructions ("Drive to an empty parking lot and put this cd on...You'll forget you are married, and I'll forget I'm married...Imagine me kissing you deeply, looking into your soul...throw this in all in a dumpster.")

4. One SAVE DUSTIN DIAMOND'S HOUSE t-shirt...signed by Screech himself!