Keep the lounge clean. It is your priviledge.

1. A box full of classy S&M toys for a man named "Master Craig" in Toronto. Including, but not limited to: one Cat O' Nine Tails ("gold fibres for maximum impact"); one power-operated massage apparatus; and one "leather holster" fit for...let's face it...The Largest Penis in the World. The girth of my forearm. Swear to God.

2. A pair of Mary Jane shoes purchased by Sarah Polley. I didn't tax you! You're the greatest!

3. Bugs. Dead bugs from Slovenia. Hundreds of dried beetles. Insects falling out of bunched-up pieces of paper. Leaky cockroaches stapled to cardboard. Oh, you crazy Slovaks. (Slovenians? Slovakarians? Sloveys?)